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the journey forward... exploring the emerging church... navigating spiritual formation... seeking to transform the world... ...through Christ

God has called us to develop communities of friendships.

Friendship—community—is one of the richest experiences you can have in life. It makes you a more loving person. It keeps you steady in the storms of life. It alleviates aloneness. We are transformed into the people we are meant to be in the context of relationships. 
God has wired us…

to know and be known, 

to love and be loved, 

to serve and be served, 

to comfort and to be comforted, 

to celebrate and to be celebrated. 

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:1-4)

The challenge to building real friendship is to realize that friendship-building is a process that has to be done intentionally.

It takes time to build authentic friendships. The wise advice of friends are likened in the Bible to silver and gold. That underscores the value of real friendship. But, if you will allow me, I think that developing a friendship is kind of like panning for silver of gold. You’ve got to work at it. And sometimes, when you are mining for gold, you get all excited that you’ve found it, but you find out it is only “fool’s gold.” You are let down and hurt.

There is a price to pay for discovering the mother lode—real, authentic friendships in community. In our day, we think we can just order it over the internet and it appears at our door overnight. That is not the way it works with friendships. 

Building community means that I have to want to stick with it. I have to want to take the time to go through the process of developing deeper friendship. I have to be willing to take risks to come out of hiding and let people get to know the real me.

It’s a process.

And it has to be done with internationality. As a church, we want people to meet in groups in order to make deep Christian friendships happen. 

That is what Small Groups (also known as Growth Groups, Home Groups, Community Groups) are all about!

I can tell you from personal experience that my best, closest friends, the ones that were dearest to me because of the level of depth in knowing each other and caring for each other are those with whom I have been in a small group.

A. Small Groups like these are a source of accountability and guidance. 
The small group is where we teach each other and hold ourselves accountable to each other. When I hear what God is teaching others, it teaches me, too. When I submit to the guidance and scrutiny of my brothers and sisters, it forces me to grow and to be accountable to the commitments I make.

B. Small Groups are a place to pray and worship.

The community helps us grow, too, as it becomes a workshop for prayer and worship. Both by instruction and by example, the New Testament teaches us to pray and to pray for one another. 
Eph. 6:18 tells us, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

James 5:16 encourages us to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

When I am not involved in a Christian Small Group, it is the times of prayer and worship that I miss the most. Many of us are never really prayed for beyond a brief mention in one of those quick-and-dirty list prayers. “Prayer request” time is the most precious time for me in a small group.

C. Small Groups are a place to serve. 

The community is also where we learn to strip away our self-interest in order to serve others. It is here that we learn to share what God has given us, whether it be goods or spiritual gifts. It is also here that we learn to be served, though we are sometimes prideful and reluctant like Peter, who balked at Jesus washing his feet (Jn. 13:2–10). Sometimes we are the washers and sometimes the washees, but in many ordinary ways we can learn what submission and service mean.

One small group I know gave time and money so a mother worn down by the demands of young children could take a spiritual retreat. Others have found practical ways to swap mowers and ladders and child-care. I have seen people go out of their way to help community group members move, remodel a a bedroom or repair a car. In whatever ways, community means watching over one another for good, knowing that as we serve, all of us are growing stronger in Christ.

D. Small Groups are a place to show the love of God to our neighborhoods.

Small Groups move the church beyond its four walls. We become a church for the community in the community. These groups meet throughout our region for the express purpose of showing God’s love to our region. Many small groups miss this aspect of their existence to their own detriment. They end up being a “Holy Huddle” of believers clustered in somebody’s home but never reaching out into the very neighborhood in which God has sovereignly placed them. 

E. It is a proven method to develop our spiritual lives. 

Small groups are where Christians move toward deeper maturity in their faith.

The practice of Christian community, quite simply, makes the gospel a lived reality. It embodies a specific, personal way of life together in Christ. It strengthens us to live the life to which we are called; it conveys God’s life and power to the world at large.

When you enter into a relationship with God, you also enter into a relationship with his children. God becomes your Father, and Christians become your brothers and sisters. And when my brothers and sisters love and accept me, I feel Christ’s love, too. When I confess my sin and they forgive me, I know that God forgives me, too. When they pray for my brokenness, I know that they are sharing in the healing work of Jesus. In our dog-eat-dog, enemies-with their teeth-bared world, when we feel the crush of hostility and of our own failures, to have our Christian community surround us with compassion and encouragement lightens our loads, strengthens us, and gives us the courage to keep on trying.

That’s what the church is all about. 

Be a part of a Small Group and experience all that God wants for you!

Read about our current Small Group experience -- "OASIS" -- by clicking here.

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Interact with Bob Robinson about the emerging church, spiritual formation, or social action by e-mailing vanguard church with your comments.